Paint. About damn time.

As with so many things, we have been trying to do this theme for so long. About four years I think. Why in the world does it take so long to finally do a shoot like this I do not know. Busy schedules, other ideas come up and push things like this aside, whatever it may be. I really don't mind though because the end product tends to be much better after a few sessions of discussion. Still though I'm very glad when space is freed up in my head by getting these projects done.

Nearly every time I try something new it feels as though I learn something, either about my beloved process of photography or maybe just something about the world around us. Having never had any experience with paint I (maybe we) had no clue of some fundamental properties. Like the fact that the lighter colors were going to become muddy so quickly and that eventually what we ended up with was this almost sickly brown. (I can feel a few of my artist friends yelling at their screens right now).
No matter how obvious to some, I take it as a nice learning experience and I appreciate that in any form it presents itself. So, from our day with paint I present you what I think is my favorite image.

With no arrogance intended, (maybe just a tiny bit) it really amazes me the stuff I end up producing. Not in that i'm surprised by it, just that it's so gratifying to be able to take an image seemingly straight out of my head and record it. With natural light that isn't quite as hard I think because plainly what you see is what you will get. With strobe on the other hand it takes visualization and knowing light to a higher degree. Others might disagree, but they can write their own blog post about it, this one is mine. I'm proud of what I do, and I love the fruition.

An unrelated but kind relevant note: I had someone ask me yet again how I can stand to shoot Shanon over and over and over. Just look at the end results, every time. There's such a huge amount of communication and trust. From humoring crazy ideas on both our parts, to knowing to an extent when the other is in their groove, and likewise when we need to either rethink or just abandon a direction. I don't know how else to explain it other than when you find someone like her you just run with it and don't look back. We have more stuff in the works and I know it will be just as much magic. My rambling point is, I wish for every artist in every medium to find the muse that makes time stop. Enough for tonight. One thing though, a teaser if you will but I'm ever so close to the end of my big series I've been working on. Goal set to wrap it up this year. But enough, enjoy a few more from Paint. (fair warning, one of the following images is slightly NSFW.)

Happy Halloween all. Be good and go create. Terry.

...But did you die?

This is way late, I know. Just after New Years, a thing happened. I got together with seven ladies in a pretty chilly basement, six models and one makeup artist. Try to wrap your head around the logistics behind that, matching schedules for eight people, all with one end product in mind. In my opinion, we nailed it.

This image is exactly what I had in my head when my cohort for this, Haven, approached me about a gore shoot. So much perfection. But, along the way we all learned a few important things. I know I did in particular. First, and biggest, corn syrup-based fake blood is a gross, sticky, nasty mess. But very worth it. Another important lesson, this big of an undertaking takes way longer to prepare for than any of us had anticipated. We could have started two hours earlier. The best part of it all, though, is that we did this. As overwhelming as it was. I wish I had the words to describe this amazing experience. The organization it took, both before and during, the sound of all six of these ladies' bodies as they had to tear away from the vinyl sheet they were on... As I said, it was an incredible, sexy, sticky, horrific, but awesome day. And even with all these ladies in just undies for roughly five hours, we only had one wardrobe malfunction, but it was a big one. I know, I have the roughest life.

On that, I'll stop talking. But it would be unfair to all the time and effort (and cleanup) if I didn't share more than just this one image. Although many of these have already appeared on the interwebs (mainly due to my slacking on doing this post), here they are officially. Enjoy.

The eye of the beholder

I know I've said this before, that the title of artist is just something that will never feel fully comfortable to me to wear. When I think of all the work that I love and that moves me, it still feels so far above what I do. It probably always will. Too much of what I do still feels like more of a happy confluence of situation and luck and far less premeditation. I may go into something with an idea in mind but then get derailed in a different and unrelated direction and end up in a completely other place. This was the case that brought on this post. Kind of.

Generally before a shoot I try to get a feel for the personality that will be in front of me. Obviously I try to learn what they are interested in and what they like of my work, to get a sense of the direction we will be headed. Millie and I spoke quite a bit and I was very interested in her ink, no surprise there. Just before the shoot I took a look at it all and though a few pieces stood out quality wise, what caught my eye was an unintentional play on words that appeared when you combine two of her tattoos. So this image was born.

I fell in love with it. Almost. Something just wasn't right about it. I bet lots of others can relate, but no matter what I did to it this image just lacked... it. That undefinable thing that makes it. so I posted it just like this, fishing for other viewpoints. what I got was so much more valuable. This was a comment on it from my business page. I left the author's name off because while I did ask if I could use it, I neglected to ask if he'd rather his name not be attached.

"In my current inebriated state, the first thing to come to mind while looking at this is "ass". Not in a negative way, but in the crude way to describe a human body part. 

Looking at it further, the real artistic photography comes plowing to the forefront. There is a story behind this picture and a part of me wants to know more about it. If it is part of a series, it could be quite the story telling device (especially if it's composed properly.)

Just my intoxicated two cents'."

This made my day. No matter how much I was struggling with it, the message got through and that's what counted. Through many incarnations I'm still not happy with the image. Partly because of my love /hate relationship with my black and white conversions, but partly still the lack of punch. nevertheless the impact of that combination of words was not lost. I didn't think they would be. It's just such a relatable thing. She says that until this shoot she had never made the connection that she was walking around with this powerful wordplay adorning her. That to me is the punch of this image, even if I cannot make it as striking as I'd like. To me this is the point of art, exactly as the commentator wrote, that the double-take factor is there. At first you see that it's a body, then the message sets in. So what am I to do? 

Here's the variations I've played with. 

A bit wider crop I think loses some dimension.

While a horizontal crop loses the identity of the fact that it is a butt. 

It will come to me. Or I'll redo it. Or possibly shitcan it. Who knows at this point. Until then, pick the one that talks loudest to you and enjoy. And as always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, drunken ramblings or not.

Lucky number thirteen

I've always had a pretty set rule that I don't want to shoot the same person more than a couple times. Keep things dynamic and not have the same face over and over and over again. So I try to constantly find (and quite often cold-call) all kinds of people to model for me. It keeps things interesting on my part as well. Usually two or maybe three times at most is all I'll do. Except for this one girl...

I met Shanon completely by accident. As we started talking, it was a natural connection. She modeled, I shot, we knew we had to get together someday and play. Plans were made, and we had our first shoot, just a little over four years ago. (even though it seems much longer than that) Since that amazing May evening, it turns out we have shot thirteen times. Last night being the most recent.

It was kind of fitting to draw summer to a close with this. This year has been a weird one for me, lots of changes and some big decisions. Really pretty much the last four years have been I guess. It doesn't seem to matter what is going on in our own lives, when Shanon and I get together time slips by and we make awesomeness. In all thirteen shoots there have been images that I consider some of my very favorites. Some have won me awards and they're always popular when I post them. Ideas tend to flow between us, our thought processes are so similar. As we plan, just like with anyone, the original idea gets turned into a common one. With some people, this takes a lot of negotiation and concession. But with Shanon, it seems like we end up in the same head. That's a really important thing for me. I know what I see in my head and I hate to compromise too much. Once I deviate far from my original vision it becomes less mine (if that makes any sense.) With this girl though, we share a brain.

(Those of you that know my work may notice that I didn't necessarily use the most popular images from each shoot. Some of these have never been made public before now.) More shoots are already being planned.

Enough of that, you get it. Here's one from everything we have done, including last night. Enjoy!!!

Our very first shoot, May of 2011 out at Wildcat creek park.

Shot in the super not-so-secret-anymore alley in downtown Manhattan.

This was a concept shoot that I don't think we ever published any of.

One of the infamous group shots from the days of The Factory. I miss these.

The duct tape shoot. So much cold, but so much fun.

This was from another group shoot of The Factory.

Our play day on the streets of Junction City.

What better way to trash a wedding dress, go out to Milford lake!

This is still one of my all-time favorites. That truck and those legs.

Our homage to Marilyn.

Everyone calls this the mermaid shoot. I see it now but at the time it was just fun with rose petals.

The marionette. We initially started to conceive this set way back at the duct
tape shoot. Many attempts and different setups planned, it ended up taking a
good three years to finally get it.  

And then there's this. I think last night will be tough to top. Nah, not for us. Until next time...

Throwing in the towel. Kind of.

Well, I have been struggling with this for a while, but I have decided I'm done doing paid work. Granted I haven't done a huge amount of it lately, but still. I did the math and I've been shooting for 26 years, some off, mostly on, and it's been a wild ride. Of those 26 some odd years I think I've been shooting for money for a good maybe 23 or so of them and some of the things I have had in front of my lens I have no words for. There's been a pirate wedding, at least one cowboy wedding, so many moms and dads to be, countless couples... The thing I actually miss the most is the music photography and the artists. Every time I would shoot a profile on an artist it would be a learning experience. Who ever knew there were so many processes, and each one different.

I will still be shooting, don't think I could resist if I tried. And there will be certain things I will never be able to say no to. I plan to take care of my past clients, within reason and my discretion. But for the most part all I will be doing is stuff that interests me. I need this. The old adage that you shouldn't make something you love into work, or you'll hate it, that's happened to me in the past and I've worked through it thankfully. But in a way I can feel it coming on again but this time slightly different. I'm seeing the possibility of it and if it did there's no guarantee it wouldn't be the end of my shooting days altogether and that is not something I'm willing to risk.

In past blog posts there have been rants from me about the decline of my beloved industry. From the overpopulation of inadequate shooters, to the ones that devalue everyone by charging too little, the "you want how much? so-and-so will do it for x."... I could go on but I will spare you. All of these things have played in to my ultimate decision but really and honestly it comes from a place of self-preservation. Eventually I know something will come along that will coax me back in, and I welcome that. The foreseeable future for me though is to make art, be with my family, and enjoy life. Not that those things aren't already happening. They are just a motivating factor as they should be. Most things I end up shooting take place in the evening or on weekends, both of which mean I'm sacrificing time with the ones I love. As crass as it may sound, nothing I can do for any of you is worth that to me. Not anymore at least. It comes down to a hard-learned lesson on the value of my own time.

I have worked with some amazing people and gotten to know many of my clients very personally, that's just me. I've worked for about every news organization in the area. Those are the things that made it so hard to decide to walk away. In the end, I have nothing bad to say about shooting for money, except that I hate the money part. It's not for me. I'm one that has always had trouble selling myself,  always underestimating and even berating my work. They say that's just an artist thing, maybe I'll get over it someday. There are no plans in my head to stop trading with people. If you have an idea you thing might intrigue me, speak up. Those are the things that have kept me going this long. So much of my head is consumed with concepts that need to come out and this will allow me the time to do exactly that.

In closing, I leave all of my past clients with the biggest thank you. It has truly been an honor to be a part of all the events of your lives that you've allowed me to participate. I hope I have done well and produced the best work I possibly could have for you. The interactions we have had will stay with me forever. I want you to know that there is no way I could ever repay you all for the things  you have taught me (mostly good) and for this I am eternally grateful. But in the verbiage of people way younger than myself, I think I'm just gonna sit back and do me for a while. Much peace and love.

Terry.

2014 - Fully exposed!

As always, this past year was chaotic and awesome. Mostly awesome. It was a year of growth and change and lots of play. I needed that, all of it. 2014 saw the joining of our two crazy families into one, along with lots of events and new happenings for me and us. Our wedding has to take top billing for the year, followed by getting our first pet together and such things as attending GenCon and Tengaicon. It was also a great year of me really finally feeling at one with my gear and having so much great work to show for it. I'll try to touch on all of this without boring you all to death.

First, let's look at all the work and play since I know that's what most people want to see. As I wrote in a previous post, this year was one of the best I can remember for cohesiveness in my process. If you aren't familiar with what I'm referring to look back at my past posts. Here's a bit of what was shot this year. Enjoy!

This was a super fun shoot with a couple of great ladies. I don't get 

many opportunities to play with dogs!

One of my all time favorite couples. I shoot them every chance I get.

When I was asked if I wanted to shoot my friend Gook during one of 

his painting sessions, I jumped at the chance. Again, look at my past

posts for this very cool shoot.

 One gorgeous girl in great makeup? Count me in.

This year, I had the honor of helping my good friend Christine graduate high 

school by mentoring her through her exit project on photography. I think 

I need to slate that for a future blog post. We also did this for her senior pics!

 2014 was packed full of beautiful women. Miss Breanne was one of many. I love this!

Trying hard to keep moving on my ink project. Nicole and I have been

trying to shoot together for a long time. I'm glad we did.

In late spring Michelle and I hosted a get-together for a few models

and photographers. We eventually did get some shooting done.

This past year saw the end of my time at Manhattan Magazine. Although bittersweet, I needed

to move on and work on my own stuff.

 I fell back in love with black and white this year. It might even lead to me 

putting the 1Ds down a bit and shooting some film in 2015. We shall see.

 Always one of my favorite ladies to shoot. I consider Shanon one of my muses. 

 I'm not sure why I love this image the way I do. It's a good thing I don't have to explain it!

Sometimes, you just have to go play. On a really cold and rainy night 

we took such an opportunity. 

 Katie. Wow. Another instance where she and I had been trying to get together.

After years of trying, we finally did. Although it was a pretty hurried shoot, the

end result could be one of my favorite images ever.

 Another time that the stars just align and you jump on a chance to go play. Those eyes.

When Kayla first approached me to shoot her doing yoga nude I was... bewildered. It seemed like such an odd thing to want to do. Lesson learned: never judge an idea before you try it! We had so much fun and made some great work. 

This is from the second time we shot. Again, I had no idea we would get this stellar of a work.

It's not often someone asks me to hire a model to shoot with his car. And plane.

Yeah, it happened. 

I've wanted to do a variation of this for a long time. I love what we did.

So much soft! Another one of my mystery favorites, I can't quite explain why 

I'm so drawn to it.

 Fun with women in water. enough said. Chey was so cold!

Twins!!!! Although not identical to the eye, working with these two it became very apparent they have similar minds.

Another perfect example of being in the right place at the right time. After finishing some prom pictures, I stumbled on these gentlemen.

  

Last but not least for 2014, a surprise engagement! In a super covert mission, I shot his proposal.

And then their formal engagement photos!

And now for something completely different... 2014 was a great year in my personal life as well. Here are some of the highlights from that side.

We attended our second GenCon in Indianapolis. My new stepdaughter beating Erica up!

Also attended our third TengaiCon here in Manhattan. There is never a dull moment when the crew

from our local SCA group show up.

After the tragic passing of our first bunny, Gopher, shortly after we got him, this happened. We 

adopted Steg (a.k.a. Stegosaurus Rex a.k.a. fuckwad) from the Riley County Humane Society. What a ham.

This girl. Although Michelle and I didn't get to work together for very long, she 

had a big impact on me. I haven't really started looking for another shooting 

partner yet because I know how hard it will be.

 My motley crew. My four at least. I just couldn't resist including a picture of them.

I wasn't initially going to include anything from my personal life in this post. Then I started to think about it and realized I had to. That the things that happened to me this year were so important that they needed to be here.

Would you expect any less? As my lovely bride is coming down the aisle, I can't resist shooting her from my point of view. 

Resistance is futile!!!

Ahhh, me thinks I can still smell frosting.

And this is my world. I think this could possibly be the only time we have all been on this side of the camera together!

In closing this very long post, I give you this. A self-portrait I made on a whim. 2014 will go down as one of the best years ever for me in so many ways. I hope this year will prove to be as good or better. I hope I haven't bored you, and I wish you all an amazing one. I love you all. Some just a little more than others.