An interview with an artist. And blood. Lots of blood.

I'll warn you now, this post is not for the faint of heart.

I met James Taylor (who goes by Gook) several years back when I was working for The Hype Weekly. His unique medium for his paintings is somewhat of an urban legend around Manhattan and K-state and I never really had a chance to check it out for myself. Gook only did it on his birthday and Christmas which just hadn't fallen into line with my schedule in the past. then I got an invitation to attend one of his sessions that he was doing out of his normal set dates, and it actually worked out for me to be there for once (with some rearranging of course).

So what exactly is it that he does that's so much different from all of the other artists I have shot in the past? What made it so attractive to me to move my crazy week around to not miss this one? Well in a nutshell, Gook paints with his own blood. That in itself was captivating. Then when I learned that this portly Korean man (I don't know why I always try to call him Vietnamese) was going to be wearing a dress. And a Mask. On top of the whole blood painting thing. As odd and intriguing as it all sounded, the first thing I had always thought to myself was that it had to be some uber attention seeking plea. It just doing something so different and disturbing that it instantly separated him from other painters. Then he sent out a message describing his inspiration for this particular painting and my rushed instinct was put away. I have said it many times, I am not a writer. But I will do my best to do this some justice. I'm going to be quoting a bit from an interview that was going on while I was there by Charles McVey, as well as adding my own observations. So this should be a bloody mess, no pun intended. Rather than quote the whole interview though, I will sum up the parts that I can.

Gook has been making art pretty much as long as he can remember, drawing inspiration from all over and working through various mediums over the years. He mentions his "bar art", which is pretty famous as well, just simple drawings on a coaster or napkin. He says very profoundly that the medium is always secondary to the idea.

The inspiration for this painting...

"I'm doing this painting based off the story of Tyler Clementi, a young gay kid who came out before he went to college, his dorm roommate video cast him with a guy and he jumped off the George Washington Bridge to kill himself."

His explanation was way more elaborate and defined than I am skilled enough to transcribe accurately so I will include the video I made during the interview itself.

A message that comes across in both the interview and just from knowing and talking with Gook is that his art is a direct interpretation of his life and mind. I relate so well with that, in that my own art is very cathartic and connected to my mood and state of mind. My own struggles with depression and thoughts of suicide have always affected my work. If only I had the depth to be so affected by outside forces, but I am not. He talks about how his art is a reflection of his own battles with depression and suicide, and why he chooses blood as the medium versus the things he himself has experienced.

"When I talk about depression and suicide, on a personal note for me it was always about me overdosing on pills. So it never made sense, if I did a painting about pills on a painting it would be about me being a druggie. That's how the majority of the public would interpret it."

The slitting of his wrists was a much more distinctive and obvious metaphor. That's basically how the blood painting evolved for him. As time went on, the performance aspect became an important part of the process itself, and this was my chance to help by documenting it. So here it is, my brief documentation of the most moving (and strangest) interview with an artist that I have attended to date. Enjoy.

(Side note: when I'm shooting I get very into what I'm doing and I'm not really affected by the subject. After we had finished, I actually got a little queasy!)

Here is the link to the video of the interview:

interview with gook

I'm back. Finally.

   This could be interpreted in so many ways. From the fact that I have not made a blog post in close to a year, to me finally feeling connected to my gear, to me feeling like I'm back in my head again in respect to shooting and making images I am happy with. There are many reasons I'm making this post and I've really only touched on a few of them here. First, let me insert the image that really gave me the feeling that I needed to write.

   It's not often that a client comes to me and says "so I have a truck I would like photographed, and I think 

I'd like my plane in the shots as well. Do you know any models that do good pinup work?" It just so happens that I do yes. So I started to put together all the details that are required for a good sized shoot. Made all the contacts, found a time that would work for everyone involved, etc.. etc..., Little did I know that this shoot would prove to be a personal rejuvenation. 

   First off, it's been a really weird couple of years personally with a bunch of life changes. That itself is more than enough to throw a guy off his game for shooting and it most certainly did. Much better now, thanks for asking. In fact, for those that don't know, I'll be getting married in about a week and a half. That part has actually done a fair share to straighten my head. And I just love saying it.

   The next hurdle I've faced for a while is some major gear changes. Major ones. A few years back I decided I wanted to go full frame. I ended up with a Canon 5D mark2. It and I never really meshed. I know, I know, how could I not have made some great work together right? We just didn't. I have no idea why, but I just did not care for it. So we made an amicable split and it found a new home. Replaced by a very old (in terms of electronics anyway) Canon 1Ds mark2. It was love at first click and we had a great time, but it had some issues. Or I did. One of the two. I stumbled on an identical body that had none of the problems, so I snagged it. Again it was love at first click. 

   Along with changing bodies, I also got the messed up notion that I feel more in touch with prime lenses than zooms and sold all but one, my trusty 70-200 f4 L. You'll have to pry that one from my cold dead hands, and in case of a zombie apocalypse, I'm still coming back for it. I love my primes (fixed focal length vs. zoom for all you non-photo peeps) and I won't be going back. But this adds yet another hitch to my funk I was already in. I hadn't shot with many primes for over a decade and getting used to the "foot zoom", moving forward and back instead of just turning a ring on the lens, was tough. But well worth it. 

   After all these changes, I got an opportunity to take a job I had always dreamed of. I had the chance to start shooting for my local newspaper, who shall not be named. I absolutely hated it. I never want to shoot another high school sporting event q2qrw (the last word was brought to you by our bunny, Steg, who felt it needed a bunny touch) for as long as I live. That was a big disappointment to me and I momentarily lost my will to live... errr... shoot. (It wasn't that serious people) 

   Around the same time, I ended up meeting a young (really young) woman that expressed an interest in maybe possibly shadowing me and learning a bit along the way. Yeah sure, whatever. I really have no desire to shoot anything but if and when I do, you can tag along. I hadn't really entertained the idea of taking on a squire since Heather moved away (which I will be forever bitter about (not really)). Michelle and I met a few times, talked some... and it quickly became apparent that I needed this more than I knew. I really love teaching. Maybe it's the masochist in me that just loves challenging others with the vast amount of useless knowledge I've gained, tossed in with the really pertinent information, and watching their little heads melt as they try to sort out which is which. (ask either of them, I'm not kidding one bit about this). 

   Back to the point. The awesome truck/plane/girl shoot thingy. It was a full house, or pasture more like. Myself, Michelle, the other girl I have started to mentor, slowly, Miss Christine, and then of course the most amazing model, Miss Shanon (complete with hair stylist!). Beautiful skies, plenty of wind, way too much wind in fact. But it was a great night either way. I think we got some pretty great stuff and the client agrees. I don't think he and his wife had any idea what we would go through to make the images we did.

   So here's what we did right and what we did wrong. On the above image I'm breaking several of the hard and fast rules of portrait photography. The first one that would be pointed out by many is that Shanon is centered, ignoring the rule of thirds and leaving too much negative space on the right side. So what. It's also way too bright on the left and your eyes may tend to go there first. If your eyes go to the bright area first and not to either Shanon or that amazing truck, you should maybe check out your priorities. These rules are meant to be broken, don't let others tell you any different. The next big faux pas with this photo, I shot it with a 20mm lens. Big mistake according to some, I think I did ok. The full info, in case anyone hasn't fallen out of their chairs yet: Canon 1DS mk2, 20mm lens, iso 50, 1/250th at 2.8. Two snooted yongnuo yn-560 flashes at her, one more open at the side of the truck. no light mods. Next one...

Love this one. Same setup except iso went to 320. 1Ds, 20mm, 1/250th at 2.8. Two lights in front, one behind her in the cab. And one lovely assistant on the other side of the truck holding the translucent disc from my ancient (seriously maybe older than you) reflector to the passenger side window to tame down the direct sun.

Back to iso 50 with no other changes. In love with this conversion.

The only change in this one is the kicker flash got moved to under the dash. Damn.

Ok better hold on tight to those barf bags if you're a big rules lawyer. This one might kill you. This image was shot with a Rokinon 8mm fisheye. (I'll give you a minute to let the room stop spinning... one one thousand, two one thousand...) So, 1Ds, 8mm, iso 125, 1/250th at 5.6. Same two snooted lights looking over the left front wheel. 

This may be the only somewhat correct photo I have for you. Shot with a respectable 50mm. 1/250th at f4.

   In short, (as if I can be brief, come on) this shoot was a great test for me, my gear,and my assistants. If there is one thing I would love to impart on anyone that's either just starting out or feeling stagnant, it would be to shoot everything. And shoot it in every way you can. Learn the fundamentals, and then ignore them every chance you get. The best thing I feel I've done for myself is to stop listening to what others have to say. Input is great, but take it for what it is, another person's opinion. When you start letting that change the way you shoot or WHAT you shoot, you are no longer working to satisfy your own artistic need and creativity. Fuck conformity. As always, I love you guys. I hope you enjoy these and please feel free to share your thoughts with me. Just don't be offended when I don't change.

A great surprise

Sometimes when I'm walking through a crowd, I'll see someone I think would make a good photo subject. It depends on my mood if I'm actually feeling social enough to approach the person or not. In the past when I have it has yielded some amazing results so I can be pretty brave and walk right up to them. This was not one of those instances... at first.

I met miss Cheyenne at an event I was shooting but I was fairly into my work so I didn't go forward and ask her to model for me. There is also always the "creep" factor for me in the back of my head... it has to be weird for a perfect stranger to walk up and say "hi there. you're beautiful and I'd like to shoot pictures of you!" So I kept on.

I got home with my take from the event, and I had taken a very cute photo of her and it solidified my gut feeling that she would make a great subject, so I did some legwork and tracked her down. She accepted my invitation after a while (after admitting she did initially have some concern!) Fortunately I came with some pretty good recommendation.

I'm very glad she chose to take me up on it, I think you'll agree. It turned out to be a very fun shoot and the resulting photos are proof to me that I can indeed pick good ones! Before we knew it we had been shooting for over three hours. This shoot also gave me a chance to put my newest toy through a good functional test, the vast majority of these were shot with my newly acquired, very well used but still fantastic Canon 1Ds mk2. Only had to break out my 5D a couple times. I would love to hear what you all think. Much love, and much more unconventional photography to come.

Inspiration and thievery

This post shows both how random my brain is and how true the subject really is. i just saw this quote on a friend's post on facebook and it spoke to me and inspired me to do my first blog post in several (ok, numerous) months. Aside from the fact that 2012 has been a rocky year in the simplest of terms, inspiration has eluded me lately both photographically and in general.

Back to the point of this post and its motivation... In the truest spirit of this quote I stole this directly from my friend's wall.

The concept of originality is one i have spoken to many people about. From young new photographers to more seasoned artists of many mediums, I am asked quite often where i get my inspiration and what i draw from. my simplest answer is that I am constantly looking for unique and original images and works from which to umm... borrow from. Call it what you will, my view and the point of the quote concur that there is no such thing as an original work. Everything you see and everything you may create has been influenced to some degree by another body of work. Myself i draw much of my inspiration from music as well as other photographers, and i'm not ashamed to say i take any opportunity i get to redo a work that has touched me and make it my own. I would hope that many of my friends and readers (those that haven't given up on me after my long hiatus) are familiar with the "photographer's last supper". In case you are not, here it is...

It's just amazing what a great group of friends are willing to do to ensure my sanity by helping me make this vision a reality. This image is a perfect example of the true words above. Of course most people will assume that my inspiration for this work came from the classic work by Leonardo DaVinci, it actually did not. yes I did borrow some of the aspects of it, but the image that motivated me to create my own version really came from the at least for me iconic image by one of  my most drawn upon creative sources, the great  David Lachapelle. 

This image, filled with many of the most relevant music and culture names of the day yelled at me from the second I laid eyes on it many years ago and it never left the very front of my mind until I was able to make it a reality. So in an effort to help me clear it from my head and make room for new ventures, some of the members of my own epic group of photographers, The Factory, helped me make it happen. (although several of the people in my image are no longer with my group it is still going strong with a few new great additions as well).

The point and purpose of my rambling is that i struggled with this odd concept of originality for many years. I would think of an idea and soon find that it had been done or find out where i drew it from and it would feel defeating. As if i had no original thoughts of my own. I nearly gave up the artistic aspect of photography over this,  I felt like i would be forever plagiarizing someone in some way. Then i came to my own conclusion to embrace the fact that everything I see inspires me in some way. As the quote says, whether it be old films, new films, music or whatever, as long as you are being touched by something then it is quite ok to let it affect you. To let it transform you. To change your mind about the world and move you in a new direction or even to let it help push you along the same path you've been on. As long as you keep moving forward then the good greatly outweighs any harm. 

I have been looking for a good way to give some much overdue credit to someone that rightly deserves it. The latest group venture by The Factory was our very cool redo of a classic literary piece "Alice in wonderland". The idea for this shoot came from our very own Laura Moppin of Laura Moppin Photography and she deserves full credit for making it happen. Although i don't feel it got quite the attention that our "last supper" received, it was a huge undertaking and deserves to be recognized for what it took to make it happen. First of all, here is the image we created...

This image took hundreds of hours of preparation and planning, not to mention the many hours spent the day of the shoot on makeup and setup. This was a very expensive image to produce with all the costuming and props as well. The real beauty of making an image like this is seeing a dream and a vision come to life though. Laura directed us all as far as what we needed to get for our own wardrobe and the acquisition of all the various items need for this image, both as props and as supportive elements for the shoot itself. This was a true group adventure which included a trek to a top secret location over 50 miles from manhattan, almost entirely organized by Laura. But again, this is not a unique vision that came completely out of her head, She drew inspiration from an image she had seen which we chose as the foundation for our interpretation. The image we drew from was the promotional photo that came from that big movie studio that does all the animated movies, you know the one i mean, and the star of the version of "alice" that we channeled is that famous guy, the one that has been in a few really good pirate movies that may or may not have been based in the caribbean islands... you know who i'm talking about. Sorry to talk in such vagaries but pardon me for not wanting to my ass sued off by said giant studio.

 Nevertheless again the reason for my post is simple. Draw on the things around you, let the things you see and experience move you and cause change in you. Do your best to interpret these things as to how they affect your life and your art and don't worry about originality. Somewhere, someone has already done what you are about to do, in some form or another. You have two choices, either embrace the  inspiration and find a way to make your version uniquely yours, or be stagnant and ineffective by waiting for a truly original concept to smack you in the head. This is sure not to say that new ideas do not happen, ever. Of course they do, everything you see was done for the first time at some point, but move with what moves you. Do your best to take the things that impact your life and thoughts and do whatever you can with them, just keep shooting. Or drawing. or painting. Or writing. Or composing music... whatever makes you jump out of bed and reach for your weapon of choice.

Going all philosophical.

   Yesterday was my 39th birthday. Something i like to do around this time is to look back on the past year and ask myself what i accomplished and if i'm happy with the way the year went. I have never really been one for new years resolutions, to me they're just ways of setting yourself up for disappointment and dissatifaction. So how did I do this year? Pretty well i think: a banner year for my own personal business  including branching out into photojournalism,  quite a bit of personal growth as well as making some business decisions that i think will be great to me in the future, lots of new skills learned, and a ton of fun times with friends and a few personal projects conquered.
    I encourage everyone to do this kind of self-analysis every once in a while, maybe not yearly. For those people that seem to never be happy with their surroundings or your lack of progress or even feeling like maybe you're going backwards, you really are in control of your life. I will never forget something i was told once, "if you feel like you're constantly swimming against the current you have two choices: either flip over and ride that current and see where it takes you, or get out of the river and re-evaluate where you are and pick a different spot to get in and take another go at it." Seems simple stupid, but so many people struggle with this. By all means i don't feel like i'm exactly where i want to be, but i am quite happy with how my decisions have turned out. I made some personal choices a while back to either be happy where I am or change it. The best birthday present i could have given myself. Try it.
    I leave you with only one image today. Although it's nothing spectacular or profound, read into it what i see: at his age the world is all his. He can make it whatever he wants and i sincerely hope he does. So i present to you my Tad, larger than life. You can still do this, it's never too late to take your life by the reigns and steer it in the direction you wish it were headed.

   I think I should take a second and thank some people that have helped me or inspired me this year. First off, I wouldn't have been able to do half of what i've done without my incredible wife tammy. She really gets me, which isn't easy. Next there is a group of photographers: Chris Hsieh, who is a constant inspiration for me business-wise and a great sounding board. Thank you brother, sushi soon! Then there's Rik Andes, who along with being a stellar photographer, is a constant force that reels me back in even though he doesn't probably know it. i find myself thinking "what would Rik do or say?". He's going to read this and say "really???" but it's true. There's a few people i have to thank for my transition into photojournalism, Ginny Hagin, i never ever ever would have thought to try it if you hadn't suggested it. Luke Townsend, I can't thank you enough for all the advice, and i hope your endeavours on the path of Buddhism fulfill your life as they have mine. I can't leave out all the wonderful people in The factory, my group of awesome photographers, you all inspire me and keep me motivated. Last but certainly not least is my best friend Heather. I love you girl. You deserve a medal just for putting up with me, and you're the best friend anyone could ask for.
    I know there are countless more people in my life that i owe thanks to, I can't squeeze them all into this post. So i just have to say thank you to them, you know who you are and you enrich my life daily. To all my friends and family and people that support my strange world, thank you. Simply put to end this post, don't settle for anything less than true happiness, and don't stop until you're where you want to be.

T.
    

My top ten favorites from 2011

   For me, compiling a gallery of my favorite images I shot this year is a ridiculously hard thing to do. I love them all. I pour my heart and soul and imagination into everything i shoot. Sure some things allow more creativity than others but i try to give them all as much thought as i can and do whatever i can to make them the best i can. It was tough, obviously. I stopped at 88 images although there were countless more I could have included. When i decided my long-overdue blog post would be an even smaller culling from those favorites it was a bit easier believe it or not.

   My choices for this top ten list are almost all for personal reasons, which i will try to explain along with each image. If you don't have the attention span to look through the whole gallery (which i will link to at the end of this) then this post should be a pretty good representation. It was easier to make this list because of the impact each one had on me, my work in terms of growth, and the new direction some of them have taken me, namely in a more journalistic role than i honestly ever saw myself moving.

   A few words on what i look forward to in 2012: first off this past year has been one of my most successful ever. Not entirely in a way of business growth as much as a reaffirmation of where i want to go and where i do not want to go. I shot my 100th wedding this year and i have a renewed love for them. I'm slowly figuring out that I really can put my own touches on them and impart some style into them. Sounds like it should be a no-brainer but it's a fine balance. Secondly this year has taken me in a photojournalistic direction that i had really never explored before. Working with the great people at the Hype Weekly, Manhattan magazine, and a surprise front-page for the collegian has hooked me. I look forward to doing much more of this kind of work, as well as a few more opportunities along these lines and branching further out into commercial work. No worries for all of my non-commercial clients present and future, you all still come first.

   Ok on to my top ten images of 2011... (they are in chronologic order, i couldn't prioritize them!)

This is one of my favorite families. One of my first shoots of 2011 and they were so fun and full of life this image will be one of my favorites for a very long time.

One of my favorite things is to combine visions with someone. This is my good friend Jill. She and I talked about doing these and both our ideas were nearly identical.This image was featured in a gallery show this year at the Manhattan Arts Center, as well as being used (to my surprise!) to represent the whole show!

These are three of my four kids. Enough said, almost. The thing that makes this image stand out to me is that it was entirely the idea of my oldest daughter Emma. My badasses.

When photographers go out to play together magic happens. I wish I could take full credit for this but it was actually the idea of my good friend Cat who was also shooting and the beautiful model Melisha, who is also an extremely accomplished photographer in her own right. She just also happens to be a stellar model!

As i said above, this year really renewed my love for wedding photography. This couple was elemental in that.  Theirs was a very unconventional ceremony and it was surrounded by love. 

Featured in an earlier blog post, this image is the end result of the cooperation of  several of my fellow photographers with help from a few models and extras. Another one that will be in my favorites list for a very long time.

This image pretty much propelled me into photojournalism. I was asked  by the staff of the Hype Weekly to shoot for a story on the Zeandale Art Project. In the process, along with making a great friend this was my first cover image. Truly addicting to see your work in print, let alone on a cover.

Alex caught me on one of my least creative days i can remember. I very rarely go into a shoot totally blank but i did this one. We walked, we talked... and by the time we called it a night we made some great images. Again maybe the thing that makes this image appear in this list is the fact that out of it we became good friends. A spectacular image with a little secret.

I am always willing to go outside of my comfort level. I will never forget the night we made this image, mainly because it was a big creative boost. 

Everyone that knows me and my philosophies toward photography  are aware that to me technical perfection  is not high on my list of priorities. While i don't intentionally try to break the rules, i do it quite often. This is a terrible image technically. there is almost nothing perfect about it, except that it perfectly describes and portrays Jess. 

There you have it. My labours of love and the pursuits of a passion that is nearly all-consuming. I have so many people to thank for this year that i cannot possibly try to list them for fear of forgetting someone. I think that's a subject for another post. These images all made it here for very personal reasons. I hope i didn't miss any here or in the complete list that any of my long time followers think should have been included. I encourage you all to comment and tell me if i did. As with nearly everything i do, these lists are a work in progress. Thank you all and I love every one of you. I wish you all a fantastic new year and hope you do the one thing that is most important in life, whatever it is that makes you truly happy.

Terry.

if you'd like to see the entire gallery, just go here:

http://szelphotography.com/site/#/galleries/my-favorites-from-2011/1/ 

and take a look around while you're there!

Rules are meant to be broken

   I met alexandra through model mayhem, a kind of facebook for models and photographers. When i saw her images i knew i had to shoot her. It took quite a while for us to set a date and finally get together but i'm very glad we did, we had a great time. Not only is she gorgeous and a true natural in front of the camera but i think we laughed most of the night. I always have fun but when you get the pleasure of working with someone as funny and just all around great as she is it makes it really tough to call it work.
   The funny thing is i broke several personal rules that night. Let me explain. One thing i hate to do is shoot in the same place several times, i think it can be hard to make the work look different and interesting if you just switch bodies but the environment is the same. Somehow this time my secret little alley (which isn't really much of a secret anymore) seemed like a completely different place. Not sure why, if it was the infusion of her energy or what it was but it was different.
   My second rule broken that night was that i try not to shoot people that have been shot quite a bit around the same timeframe. I feel like it looks bad. Like we as a community of photographers pass people around which is not the case. I think it makes for a bad atmosphere of competitiveness that we all try to outdo each other and again that's not true. we all do things in completely different ways but i still try to avoid people that are very popular subjects. Just me.
   I don't think she even knows this but i almost cancelled our shoot for that very reason. I'm very happy i didn't, i think we did pretty well. Sorry to keep this post so short, i think this image is worth a few words. Be good friends.